He left me
by Ms-Jessy-Mae
Summary: Rose and Dimitri love story. she's pregnant but has lost everything that matters most to her, what happens when she cant take it anymore... R&R!  Enjoy
1. He left me

**A/N **

**Disclaimer- I own nothing...**

**ENJOY! :)**

"WHAT!" I screamed not believing what Olenzdsky was saying to me.

"How can I be Pregnant!" I yelled, I cant be pregnant, I've only ever been with Dimitri, and he was another Damphir! Two damphirs cant be together and get pregnant! It just isn't possible!

"I've only ever been with another damphir! Two damphirs cant be together and get pregnant!" I said thinking I could make sense of it if I said it out loud.

"We think its something to do with spirit, you have to understand, we didn't think it was possible either." I could tell she was trying to stay calm, but no teacher can stay calm when I'm yelling my guts out at them.

"B-Bu-But how can it be possible, I don't want this, Dim- I mean the father left me! He _left me_!" I screamed "Don't you realise what this will do to my life!" She must have known but I was in a rage. And no one, _no one_ could calm me down!

"Rose if you could just calm dow-" I cut here off, not wanting to her what she was gonna say.

"_Calm DOWN! _Don't you dare tell me to calm down!" I shouted. Again.

"Rose! Listen to me. You cant stop this, but we can help you through it. We just need to know who the father is!" _What!_

"I c-cant tell you" I stuttered , I felt defeated, I didn't want to tell anybody about this, I didn't even want to say his name! I cant take it, it already feels like half of my soul has gone, if I say it I just know that all of it would just disappear all over again.

_Flashback_

"_Rose, I'm leaving." He said. At that moment my hole world came crashing down._

"_What! What do you mean?" I asked, every moment I looked at him from then on I felt my heart aching._

"_I mean, I've accepted Tasha's offer as her guardian" _

"_How could you, how can you do that to me, after everything we've been through!" I felt my heartbreak turn to anger, at his simple tone, stating It like it was easy for him to just walk away._

"_Rose calm down. This is best for everyone, it means there would be no danger to Lissa because you will be focused on her and not me." he still sounded so simple._

"_Get out! GET OUT! I never want to see you again!" I screamed, I don't think I had ever felt so vulnerable and to make sure he didn't notice I covered it up with anger and hatred._

"_Rose, please understand why i'm doing this, I want you to have a successful life, I want you to _live_!"_

"_GET OUT!" I said pushing him with all my strength towards and out of the door._

"_I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!" I screamed over and over again._

_He took one more look at me and left. Forever._

_End of Flashback_

"Rose we need to know who he is!" she said, suddenly I felt vulnerable again. For only the second time in my life.

"I told you I c-cant!" I thought I was on the verge of tears, but I wasn't weak, I would _not_ cry in front of an adult!

"Rose you have to! The father needs to know. Trust me when I say this, you _will_ need his help, only he _can_ help, medically I can do as much as I can to make this easier on you , but _emotionally you need him, if he meant enough to you to sleep with him and not say his name, either to protect him or protect yourself, don't you think he owes you, he owes you his help! Please tell me so I can help you." she seemed good at this kind of thing. Persuasion. Whether to convince somebody they need surgery or for somebody to give up a persons name, I must hand it to her, she was good._

"_Please, Rose, I wont tell anybody. Swear."_

"_His n-name is-is Dimitri Belikov."_

**_A/N Continue or dont continue? that is the question_**

**_REVIEW!_**


	2. The truth

_I love you,_

_Those three words didn't mean a thing._

_I thought we were meant to be,_

_But I guess it was just a fling._

_There's a wall around my heart,_

_Stopping me from crying._

_But there's something inside of me,_

_That feels like its dying._

_You were everything, I needed, care for,_

_I chose you but now my heart is sore._

_You will never realise that you were my best friend too,_

_But believe me when I say this._

_I really did love you._

Those words had being replaying in my mind ever since he left me. But after saying his name out loud the reality of it came flying back to me. I was pregnant. With his baby. And he left me.

Ever since that talk with Dr Olenzdsky, I had been treated like a baby and I was fed up of it.

On Monday in Stan's class I new I couldn't take it anymore.

_Flashback_

"_Who can tell me what problems come with becoming pregnant at the age of seventeen?" I new he was directing this at me, but luckily I had a great best friend to back me up, too bad he didn't know the truth._

"_It means that they would not be able to continue their guardian training for at least a year" Even though Eddie had answered Stan completely ignored him._

"_Hathaway, why don't you tell us?" he said with a smug grin on his face, I wouldn't let him keep that smile on his face._

"_Like Eddie said, you wouldn't be able to continue your guardian training for at least a year" I said, trying and succeeding to sound bored._

"_Ahh, but Hathaway, were not talking about me, were talking about _you_" Oh he had gone _way_ to far this time, I thought as my face turned bright red, and everyone (including Eddie) turned to face me._

"_What do you mean?" I said struggling to sound calm and bored._

"_I mean Hathaway, that you should not be in my class again until next year." he stated, and I knew darn well that he was struggling to keep his composure as well, so like any teenager I kept pushing._

"_Why not? _Guardian_ Alto?" I said putting emphasis on the guardian, knowing that he had lost his position as guardian a long time ago for letting Eric Dragomir die in that crash, and not trying to help him._

"_Rose Hathaway, Get Out Of My Classroom Now, You Pregnant Wh-" he was cut of from finishing that statement by a knock at the door._

_As he went to open the door, the other kids were whispering fiercely, all except for Eddie._

"_What do you need Belikov?" I heard Stan ask. As soon as I heard his name I froze. But when I actually heard him reply back I ran, RAN for my doom room, and I decided that I would never come out._

"_ROSE!" I heard a voice following me, and of course I kept going knowing exactly who it was._

"_ROSE! PLEASE STOP" He Shouted, pleading for me to stop._

"_WHAT DO YOU WANT _GUARDIAN_ BELIKOV!" I yelled stopping and turning to look at him so fast he nearly ran into me._

"_I said what do you want" I said through gritted teeth._

"_I came back, I came back to help you" he pleaded._

"_Yeh, well what if I don't want your help. You've helped enough already" I told him._

"_Please ROZA. Please tell me what's going on, I got a call from Olenzdsky saying you need me"_

"_Yeh Well I Don't Need You!" as I said the words I saw hurt in his eyes, how could that hurt him, does he even know what he's done to me?_

"_I'M PREGNANT!" I screamed "OKAY? I'm Pregnant, and I-it's yours."_


	3. I Love You

Dimitri POV!

I froze.

"How I mean were both da-" she cut me off.

"Damphirs I know, its something to do with being shadow kissed" God I missed her voice.

"But I don't understand" I could see her rolling her eyes at me.

"Wow, something _must_ be wrong , if oh mighty Belikov doesn't know something!" I could see she was in pain, but was masking it with sarcasm.

"Just listen to me Rose, if I had known this would of happened, I wouldn't have left. I thought by distancing myself from you that, you would be able to have a life, the life that you had dreamed of since being a child. A life protecting Lissa."

"Yeh well, that kind of got Fucked up didn't it?" she said "Do you know how much pain you put me through, Physical and emotionally?"

"Listen to me Rose, I _didn't _want to leave y- wait, what do you mean physically?" I asked, I could see she didn't think I would have noticed that she had said physically. She hung her head. And moved her sleeves past her wrist, but before she could cover them I noticed small bandages.

I moved towards her grabbing her wrists and yanking back her sleeves and bandages, to reveal scars and still healing wounds.

"Ros- " she cut me off again yanking here arms out of my reach.

"No You Listen, I thought you loved me. Or was I just a fling or something on the side to you and _TASHA!_" she screamed. Luckily we were outside and no one was around.

"Rose, I di- I _do love you, I haven't stopped loving you, your all I think about before I go to sleep, and the first thing I think of when I wake up."_

"_Oh, well, I need to go, so just-just leave or do something else" I didn't know what to say, so I just stood there looking at her, trying to take in her full beauty._

_When she started to turn and walk away I said "You know I'll help you with whatever you need, I want to be a part of it, if you'll let me." This made her stop and turn to face me, with a sad defeated look in her eyes._

"_Come by my room on Friday at 6 o'clock." she said and nodded to me before she left._

"_I love you" I whispered, not that she heard._


	4. Im going to kill him!

**Disclaimer- I own nothing **

**Rose's POV!**

After I returned to my room I felt truly alone, like nobody in the world would be able to fill the gap in my heart, no one, but Dimitri. Dimitri. It had been at least a month since I had seen him before now, and when I did I breathed in every inch of his perfect body.

About an hour later there was a knock at my door. As I left my bed to answer it I wondered who the hell it could be.

It was Eddie.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asked, worry echoing in his voice.

"Yeh I'm fine" I answered trying to sound convincing. He didn't believe me.

"What was Stan talking about Rose?" _Wow,_ I thought_, first time he ever got straight to the point._ "And don't tell me it was nothing, tell me the truth. I'm here for you."

"Well first of all you might want to sit down, and secondly, you can't tell anyone, not even Lissa, okay?" After I said this he hesitated slightly.

"Yeh okay, I promise, now will you please tell me what's going on?" He said whilst moving to sit on my bed.

"Well, Eddie, you know how we've always been good friends but even more so sin-"

I couldn't say it I just couldn't, but he seemed to know what I was gonna say.

"Since Spokane and Mason" he had on his guardian mask but I could see through that to see the pain in his words.

"Yeh, and you know how you have been there for me, well, you might not want to after what I'm about to tell you."

"Just tell me Rose I'll be there for you no matter what" I could see he truly meant the words so, I told him.

"I'm pregnant" I said looking at the ground, because I didn't want to see his reaction.

Instead I heard him get off the bed and walk towards me.

He grabbed my chin and lifted it gently upwards to look in my eyes.

"Rose, like I said, I'm here for you, whatever you need. I'm here." As soon as he finished talking I stood up and cried into his shoulder, a months worth of emptiness sprang out of me, and onto his now wet tee-shirt.

"Is there any chance you'd tell me who the father is?" he questioned "Don't worry I wont tell anybody."

"It's- It's Dim- Dimitri" I sobbed. As soon as the words had left my mouth he tensed.

"It's okay" I could see how visibly tense he was and wanted to stop him before he left my room but he was to quick.

I knew this wasn't going to be good, before he left I saw the murderess look in his eyes.

**Eddies POV!** **(I know, its weird but I felt like it...)**

I couldn't believe what I just heard, Dimitri Belikov one of the best guardians I had ever met, had _sex_ with his _student_ and _left her_ to do it_ alone!_

I'm going to kill him!

**Cliff hanger!**

**What do you think will happen next, either PM me or REVIEW with ideas… **


	5. You love her dont you?

**Hey guys, sorry I haven't updated in a while, been busy ….anyway….hope you enjoy.**

**Also if you like sonny with a chance fanfics and bones fanfic, then visit ABCDreamer, she's a good friend of mine :)**

**Disclaimer-I own nothing except the plot, song is by Avril Lavigne 'When your gone'**

Eddie's POV!

I'm going to kill him! I thought, he left her! He abandoned her! PREGNANT!

As I walked to the guest housing reception I thought this over and over again, I had one goal and that was it, for Rose, I would kill him.

I fingered my stake in my hoodie pocket until it felt like I could whip it out of my pocket and pounce.

When I reached guest housing the woman seemed extremely bored with her magazine.

"Erm excuse me ma'am can you tell me which room Guardian Belikov is staying in please?"

"Yes of course" she said. "Room 5 my dear lad"

"Thank you ma'am." I said trying to sound innocent, that's far from what I was, but years of being friends with Rose rubs off on you.

As I walked towards room 5 I thought of his dying face.

When I knocked on the door I heard shuffling before he appeared, looking surprised he let me in, little did he know.

As he sit down I reached into my pocket ready for attack. He saw this because just as I pulled out my stake and leapt from my place near the door he jumped out of the way and pinned my arm on the wall until the stake dropped from my grip.

"LET GO OF ME! I growled.

"No" he answered seeming much calmer than me.

"I'LL KILL YOU, YOU BASTARD" I shouted. He seemed slightly taken back from this but did not falter when I tried to get free from his grip. "YOU LEFT HER PREGNANT" I screamed.

"Eddie" I kept on struggling.

"EDDIE!" he said more forcefully. I couldn't help but stop struggling.

"What!" I asked, feeling slightly defeated. I couldn't win against him.

"I didn't know she was pregnant!" He said rather forcefully.

"Why didn't you wait around to see!" I said through gritted teeth.

"Because I didn't think it could happen!" He said, but as he looked at me he saw my pained expression, and I saw realisation dawn on his features. "You love her, don't you?" he asked softly, as if the thought pained him, I don't see why it would seeing as though he was the one that left her.

"I don't know!" I shouted, realising his falter in stopping me from doing anything. As I reached the door I looked back and saw all the emotion on his face. He still loved her , and wanted to do the best thing for her, wanted her to have a life and protect Lissa. I wanted that for her aswell, I wanted her to be happy, but at that small moment they were supposed to be together. They would not be happy with other people, she would not be happy with me. I knew that I had no chance. But I would be there for her. I would help her through this. Even if it meant that it would crush me.

Roses POV!

There's a darkness,

Deep inside me,

I cant see it.

But I want it to be free.

I sang this with my guitar as I thought about Dimitri leaving me and how I don't want to be broken anymore, I wanted to be hole again. And I didn't care who with.

Just as I finished my song there was a knock at my door, looking at the calendar I realised it must be him.

"Hey" I said feeling rather fragile and vulnerable.

As he sat down on my chair by my desk he looked rather depressed.

"What's with you?" I asked "Its not like you're the one with a thing inside you" I said rather slyly.

"Oh" he looked up at the sudden question "Nothing much, I just got a rather strange visit." he finished looking away.

"Who from?" I asked.

"Only Eddie Castile, your good friends with him right?" he asked looking kind of depressed at the thought of me knowing Eddie.

"Yeh, I mean ever since Spokane-" my voice cracked and my sentence drifted off as I relived the memory of Masons broken body just lying there on the floor near the fireplace.

"Yeh I know, if you don't feel comfortable saying it then don't put yourself through the pain, trust me." He looked as though he really know what he was talking about, with that haunted look in his eye's I knew he really was troubled by something. I just didn't know what.

"Seriously, you cant hide it from me, what is it?" I asked trying to sound calm, but knew my voice slightly wavered. After everything he had done to me I knew that he needed me to ask him, otherwise it would haunt him for much longer.

"Its you." As the words left his mouth he looked at me straight in the eye's hazel to chocolate brown, haunted to shocked, love and the aftermath. Even though it pained me I wanted to know more.

"But why would I bother you, you left me to fend for myself remember" I said barely over a whisper but he still heard it.

"Because, I still love you, I did and always have, when I was away from you, every day my heart would break more and more, the memory of you saying you never wanted to see me ever again, gave me nightmares every time I closed my eyes, I knew I could never be with anyone else ever . And as soon as I heard you need my help I left straight away. Tasha didn't even know I was gone until I rang and told her three days later. And when I did finally get here and saw you I thought you didn't need me, and then when I saw how pained and vulnerable you looked it broke my heart all over again- I'm sorry but If you don't mind, I've learned how to play guitar when I was away, so do you mind if I use it instead?" With the sudden question I was shocked and nodded my acceptance.

"Thank you." As he tuned the guitar to go with the song I thought about what he had just said, he did still love me, and he thought I had rejected me.

And then he started to sing, his silky Russian accent gaining more control as he sung to me.

_I always need time on my own_

_I never thought I'd need you there when I cry_

_And the days feel like years when I'm alone_

_And the bed where you lie is made up on your side_

_When you walk away_

_I count the steps that you take_

_Do you see how much I need you right now_

_When your gone_

_The pieces of my heart are missing you _

_When your gone_

_The face I came to know is missing too_

_When your gone_

_The words I need to hear to always get me through_

_The day and make it ok_

_I miss you_

_I've never felt this way before_

_Everything that I do reminds me of you_

_And the clothes you left they lie on the floor_

_And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do_

_When you walk away I count the steps that you take_

_Do you see how much I need you right now_

_When your gone_

_The pieces of my heart are missing you_

_When your gone_

_The face I came to know is missing too_

_And when your gone_

_The words I need to hear, to always get me through_

_The day And make it ok_

_I miss you_

_We were made for each other_

_Out here for ever_

_I know we were, Yeh_

_And all I ever wanted you to know_

_Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul_

_I can hardly breathe I need to find you here with me, Yeh_

_When your gone_

_The pieces of my heart are missing you_

_When your gone_

_The face I came to know is missing to_

_And when your gone_

_All the words I need to here, to always get me through_

_The day, and make it ok_

_I miss you._

After he finished I was so moved by what he had sung and said, I started crying, and after about seven seconds of intense staring at each other he noticed this and brushed away the tears with his thumb, and then, I kissed him.

**There you go guys, cliff hanger…. **

**What should happen next?**

**1. Eddie walks in to find them?**

**2. Adrian walks in to find them?**

**3. There's a strigoi attack on the school?**

**You decide, I'll be updating again soon**

**R&R!**

**-Jess**


	6. They're coming

Rose's POV!

I didn't know what I was doing. Why was I kissing him, after everything he's done to me. I forgave him.

After what he just sai-sang to me, I mean how can you not.

Plus his lips were so soft and inviting, it was as if we were doing this yesterday.

Dimitri's POV!

"Roza" I murmured against her lips, no matter how much I wanted to carry on, I had to stop before things go to far and with Rose being pregnant I didn't want to risk anything.

I could tell by the way she furrowed her brow that she didn't want to stop either, but after a moment realisation crossed her face.

"Maybe we shouldn't do this right now, well, because, you kno-"She stopped, a look of fear and shock crossed her face.

"What? Rose what is it?" I asked frantically trying to find the source of her distress.

"They're coming. One after another, they'll keep coming. She sent them. I have to stop them." she whispered, loud enough for me to here.

"Who's coming? who's coming? Rose, please tell me." I pleaded, I didn't like the look in her eyes. It was a haunting look that could even make a strigoi shiver.

"Strigoi." she whispered just before she ducked to the floor pulling me with her. As soon as I hit the floor there was glass exploding everywhere, somebody had broken in through the window.

And in a flash I had my stake out of my pocket and staked him. A flash of hatred was on his face before he fell to the ground, unmoving.

One after another they came in, and one after another, I stake them. Until there was at least five in the room, I realised I was surrounded. That's when it happened. A burst of energy whipped around the room, and one by one the strigoi fell to the floor screaming in agony. After about 10 seconds of being paralysed of shock I ran over to Rose who was standing near the door with what looked like fistfuls of dark twirling shadows in each hand. I saw her visibly pale after all the strigoi had become silent and unmoving, then, she fainted. I reached out just in time before she hit the floor, and carried her to the clinic, where Olenzdsky said she would be fine and that the baby wasn't hurt, but it had been several days, which I spent non stop by the side of her hospital bed, when Rose actually began to stir, and finally wake up.

"And so sleeping beauty awakens." I said, stroking her hand with my thumb.

"What you're my nurse now?" she said, so like Rose, I thought.

"Only if you want me to be" I said trying to sound sexy, but I knew I failed miserably, according to Rose, before I left she said that I could only be sexy without realising.

"Maybe later." she said before winking at me. "What happened before I passed out?" she asked, this was what I'd been dreading.

"Well, what do you remember?" I asked her hopefully she'd remember more so I wouldn't have to explain much to her.

"The last thing I remember is kissing you, and then saying that maybe we shouldn't do this right now." she said, looking like it was a past dream that she couldn't remember.

"Well, you said that and then you got this look in your eye that looked like you weren't with me, like you were seeing something else. And then you started talking. You were saying things like 'They're coming. One after another, they'll keep coming. She sent them. I have to stop them' And at first I didn't know what you were talking about until you said that they were strigoi, the you grabbed me and pulled me to the ground, after I got up, I staked them until I was surrounded, that's when something happened, I think it was you. Shadows started flying through the room, attacking the remaining strigoi, then I looked at you and you had these balls of shadows in your hands like you controlled them, then you fainted and I brought you here, Dr Olenzdsky said you and the baby would be fine, Oh, Lissa, Christian, Eddie and Adrian have been to visit you and left you these, most of them are from Lissa." I finished gesturing to all the 'get well soon' balloons and cards and presents.

"Now that you mention it, I am kinda hungry." As if on cue her stomach started to rumble.

"Is there any chocolate or anything?" she asked as I looked through the varies of chocolate treats I said "Normal chocolate or Cadbury?"

"Cadbury ploksey pleasey." she said in a too sweet voice. I suppressed a laugh whilst handing her the chocolate.

"Anything else your majesty?" I asked sarcastically.

"Yes actually, I would like a big room with a queen sized bed, and you to rub lotion all over your body." she said cheekily, whilst giving me her man-eater smile. I could only laugh and lean forward to whisper in her ear "I might not be able to do those thing but I can do this" I said whilst lifting her chin up so that I could place a sweet delicate kiss on her lips, knowing that that's all we both want.

Just then the door slammed shut. With another person in the room I pulled away quickly, but was too late, this person had already seen what happened. As I turned around I wondered who It was, I expected Lissa or Eddie, but was shocked to see who was standing there with the most shocked look on her face, was, Tasha.

**Cliff hanger….again…..**

**1. She gets angry and pissed and tries to attack Rose?**

**2. She's happy for them?**

**3. She just runs away?**

**You decide, hope you enjoyed it…**

**REMEMBER R&R!**

**-Jess**


	7. Fire in your reflection

**Thanks for all the great reviews guys….keep on like this and we could form a 'Tasha's a bitch' fan club… LOL!**

**So here you go…..and keep R&R ****J**

**Disclaimer-unfortunately I do not own Vampire Academy or Dimitri *sad face*…I also don't own either song…-Mulan….. Dream-Katy Perry…. but I do own the plot….and a few characters later on….**

**ENJOY!**

**

* * *

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Rose's POV!

It was Tasha, she was back, and she'd seen us.

I instinctively covered my stomach with my hand, trying to shield it from her. But she saw this and a look of pure fury crossed her features.

But before either of us could react she flung a ring of fire around Dimitri stopping him from moving, and then it happened.

"ROSE!" Dimitri shouted.

I was covered in fire, it was on my face, on my legs and on my stomach. I tried to move but I couldn't, I tried to scream out but, I couldn't.

I was paralysed.

And the fire was moving.

It moved through my skin, burning its way through my bones and finally into my womb.

I thought I could actually feel and hear the baby screaming, and screaming in pure agony, as if it was saying "Why aren't you helping me, why are you just sat there, watching." This infuriated me, I forgot about the pain, and thought over and over again, She should be feeling this pain. Tasha should be feeling this pain. And then, she did. It looked as if the room were covered in shadows, the shadows seemed to extinguish the fires surrounding me and Dimitri, and moved them to cover her instead.

"ROSE!" shouted Dimitri again, as though it pained him to say my name.

I looked at his agonized face to see that he was staring at my stomach. This made me look down. There was blood, and melted flesh.

I could not stand it, I passed out.

**Dimitri's POV!**

Tasha was still on fire, and screaming in agony.

But I didn't care.

Rose looked as if she had been in a horror film from all the blood that was surrounding her stomach.

"ROSE!" I shouted trying to rip her murderous gaze from Tasha. It worked, but after looking at me she looked down. I could see her visibly pale. Then she passed out. Like last time I managed to catch her before her head hit the ground and ran out of the smoke filled room carrying her bridal style I shouted for help. Nobody came. I shouted again running through the corridors. Still nobody came.

As I reached the Moroi dorm I Shouted again. Luckily Lissa was there. She looked at me, then at Rose and she screamed for people to get off the sofa's. As I lay her down, I could see Lissa working over her, using spirit to heal her.

But what I noticed this time was that there were shadows surrounding Rose, and sinking into her.

I didn't do anything, thinking about what the shadows had done for her with the Strigoi attack and the fight with Tasha, I didn't dare.

Several more days passed. And again I hadn't left her side.

I kept playing the song I sang for her over and over again, hoping and praying that she might be able to here me.

When she did wake up, I was asleep on the chair next to her bed, and was woken up by her playing the guitar and singing:

_look at meyou may think you see who I really am but you'll never know meeveryday it's as if I play a partnow I see if I wear a maskI can fool the world but I cannot fool my heartWho is that girl I seestaring straight back at me?When will my reflection showwho I am insideI am nowin a worldwhere I have to hide my heartand what I believe inbut somehowI will show the worldwhat's inside my heartand be loved for who I amwho is that girl I seestaring straight back at mewhy is my reflectionsomeone I don't knowmust I pretend that i'msomeone elsefor all time?when will my reflection showwho I am inside?there's a heartthat must be freeto flythat burnswith a need to knowthe reason whywhy must we all concealwhat we thinkand how we feelmust there be a secret mei'm forced to hideI won't pretend that i'msomeone elsefor all timewhen will my reflection showwho I am insidewhen will my reflection showwho I am inside _

How could she think that. That she wasn't good enough, I couldn't let her keep thinking like this.

"Roza" I said, getting her attention. I knew she didn't know I was awake because she jumped when I said her name. "Don't think like that, please." I said whilst tilting her face upwards by her chin so I could meet her eyes.

"I-It's just, I dunno. Everyone expects me to be such a badass all the time, its hard for me to show my real self when I'm outside of my room, or when I'm not with you. Did you know that Lissa has never seen me cry, until you came along." I didn't know if this was a good thing.

"Roza, Nobody expects you to be a badass all the time. And what happened with Tasha, it just showed that when you are a badass, then you seriously kick ass" I finished smiling down at her.

"Yeh, that's true." She agreed.

"Why don't you go back to sleep, I can see those bags under your eyes." she said with a sweet smile on her face.

"But you just woke up, I want to spend this time with you." I whined, slightly reminding myself of when I was a child. She laughed at this, thinking that it was a joke.

"I woke up hours ago, but I'm fine, we'll spend time together after you've had rest now sleep" she finished, giving me a quick wink.

Knowing what the 'spending time together' meant. After a quick kiss she made room on her bed and I laid down next to her.

Shutting my eyes I knew tomorrow was going to be a good day. And just before I drifted into a deep sleep I heard her starting to play and sing '_Teenage Dream' _by Katy Perry.

**There you go…. Cheesy ending…but a sweet one…**

**What should happen next?**

**1. They should chillax for a few days, spending time together, and lots of kissing…?**

**2. Lissa should come asking questions…?**

**3. There should be a new character who comes asking questions…?**

**Leave your comments about what should happen in a review or personally message…basically just keep on doing what you doing…..**

**Hope you enjoyed it.**

**R&R!**

**-Jess**


	8. I'll love you till my last breath

**Sorry I haven't updated in ages guys I have not had the time…. But anyway…..My best friend Molly and I were chatting in maths and she began begging (and threatening) me to upload today…and when I agreed we began talking about ideas :D it was fun….**

**Anyway this chapter is dedicated to her…so…R&R! :D**

**And of course..**

**ENJOY ****J**

**Disclaimer- I own nothing but the plot and later characters…**

_Rose's POV!_

I watched and played whilst I waited for Dimitri to fall asleep. And when he finally took that last breath of consciousness all the thoughts from the past few hours came rushing back to me.

_Flashback (A/N I know I do a lot of these but just go with the flow ;D )_

_I woke up too bright lights. Again. God dammit I thought, I was back in the clinic. Again. _

_After a few moments Dr Olenzdsky walked in with a sympathetic look on her face. "why are you looking at me like that?" I asked and then it hit me. My baby. Where was she? Is she ok? What Happened to her? All these questions rushed through my mind in less than a second._

_Dr Olenzdsky seemed to realise what I was thinking from looking at my eyes and how they were practically popping out of my skull._

"_Rose, i'm so, so, so sorry. I did everything I could, I just couldn't save her. I'm so, so, so, sorry. I tried my hardest" she said practically begging me to forgive her._

"_Does Dimitri know?" I asked in barely a whisper, but she still heard me._

"_No, he does not. After how he's been acting since you passed out I thought it best not to." she explained, I nodded. Few tears escaped my control but they still showed weakness. Again Dr Olenzdsky seemed to know what I was thinking._

"_Rose its okay to be upset, or even weak at a time like this." she said sitting on the edge of my bed._

_Nodding was my only reply. I couldn't trust my voice as even my strong walls have been defeated._

_End of flashback…._

So I had lost my baby, and now Dimitri is probably going to go running back to Russia, I know he said he loved me but that must have all been a joke, a sick twisted joke. But no I thought. He needs to know what it feels like. To have your heart ripped open and thrown on the ground constantly. I thought.

I needed to get out of their., tonight. I would leave St Vladimir's Academy once and for all. I could start a new life I thought. A new life growing out of the shadows and darkness.

-later that day-

Ever since I left the clinic two hours ago, I've been in my room not talking to anyone or letting anybody see me. The reason for this was that I was writing my letters to everyone starting with Lissa.

Dear Lissa

Your like a sister I never had. The reason for this is because you have always been there for me even when he left me, you were there for me. And when mason died you were there for me. And even when it was just normal things like spirits affects, you were there. And I will be forever grateful for the time I've spent with you. I know I shouldn't just chicken out and leave but I have too. You just don't understand. I cant take it anymore, I cant take the pain anymore. But doing this it also means that I wont be able to be your guardian. But hopefully you'll get Eddie or at least somebody like him. You deserve it. And you know I'll check up on you every week, I promise. And I swear to take spirit affects away from you whenever you need it. Oh and also, don't let Christian out of your grip. Trust me don't let him go. He loves you and you love him, remember that.

Goodbye

I love you

Love forever from your sister, Rose

I'll miss you.

My tears had already leaked out again and I was sure they would show when she read this.

Then I started the next letter.

Dear Christian

After all the teasing you were still there for me when I needed it like in Spokane you helped me, and even tried to help mason, I knew from the beginning that all of those rumours were full of crap and bullshit but I just didn't want to admit that I was wrong because the truth is, I was really pissed out of mind one night and I joked about it but people thought I was serious and its my fault. I'm sorry, I really should've help stop them especially after you fell in love with Lissa, yes I know, there's no point in hiding it Sparky. I know and she knows so don't let yourself loose her like I lost mine, it will make you dead inside and wish for death, you don't want that. Trust me. So now I have to go and none of you will probably see me again as I don't want to live a life without him. So this is goodbye, oh by the way don't tell Lissa what I told you otherwise she might freak out.

Goodbye

Love forever your friend Rose

P.s if anything does happen and I don't know about it call me but don't let anybody know you have my number. They'll get their hopes up.

Then after writing letters for my mom, Eddie, Mia and Alberta I got to Dimitri's, the tears poured freely now. I couldn't stop them no matter how hard I tried.

Dear Dimitri

The reason I left is for me to know and for you to not. When you came back, sang to me and explained everything I thought I had you back, but I was wrong, i'm sorry I could not tell you this in person but I just wouldn't have the courage I guess. But she's dead. Our little girl died because of _her_. That however is not the reason I left, and by the end of this letter I hope that you never will. I know when i'm gone you will find somebody else who can make you happy. But I wont. I never will because all of my heart is owned by you and only you.. Forever. No matter what happens to me, at least I can go knowing you will find somebody that can make you happy.

Out of all this letter must be the longest because there aren't enough words for me to describe how much I love you and always will. Because you see, you _are _my light, you _are _my oxygen, I cant live without you, and that's why i'm not. I'll always remember our times together. I hope you can forgive me for whatever I have done to make you run from me.

Goodbye, forever.

Love you forever, your Roza

P.s I love you.

As the tears ran down my face I knew it was time to go. I placed all of the letters on my desk and opened the window. And because I have done this many times before I knew it wasn't that hard. And then,

I ran.

**Who is crying right now because I am :'( **

**Hate me**

**Love me**

**Praise me**

**Review me**

**Criticize me**

**Just do what ever the hell you want to…except rape because that would be disturbing…. :/**

**Any who there will be another chapter up soon so stay tuned and of course..**

**ENJOY **

**-Jess**


	9. Where is she?

**Another update? Yes well …Molly was begging me again ;D **

**And thank you guys for all the reviews, I read them before I went to sleep and I left the conscious world with a smile on my face :P**

**This chapter is again dedicated to Molly (because she wouldn't take my rubbish to the bin if I didn't dedicate it to her :P ) and its also dedicated to all the people who have reviewed and favourited my story… ILOVEYOUALL ;D**

**ENJOY!**

**Disclaimer- I own nothing but the plot and future characters or any songs I might use…. :D**

_Dimitri's POV!_

After Rose had been told that she can leave the clinic I tried to stay with her for as long as possible but she wouldn't let me. So with a nod of my head I went to my guest dorm but after a while I went to find Lissa, Adrian, Christian and Eddie.

When I knocked on the door to Adrian's room, somebody shouted to enter, when I went in I found everybody staring at me with tear streaks running down their faces. "What's wrong?" I asked, nobody answered. "What's wrong?" I demanded, they must have all seen my anxiety because Christian spoke up.

"You might want to read this" was al he said whilst holding up an envelope.

"What is it?" I asked, getting more anxious.

"Just read it" said Lissa, her voice barely coming out at a normal volume.

I walked over to Christian, but when I took the envelope I noticed it was slightly damp in certain places, but it also had my name written on the front of it in Rose's hand writing. I quickly ripped away all the bindings of the envelope to find a letter, still in Rose's handwriting, it read:

_Dear Dimitri_

_The reason I left is for me to know and for you to not. When you came back, sang to me and explained everything I thought I had you back, but I was wrong, i'm sorry I could not tell you this in person but I just wouldn't have the courage I guess. But she's dead. Our little girl died because of her. That however is not the reason I left, and by the end of this letter I hope that you never will. I know when i'm gone you will find somebody else who can make you happy. But I wont. I never will because all of my heart is owned by you and only you.. Forever. No matter what happens to me, at least I can go knowing you will find somebody that can make you happy. _

_Out of all this letter must be the longest because there aren't enough words for me to describe how much I love you and always will. Because you see, you are my light, you are my oxygen, I cant live without you, and that's why i'm not. I'll always remember our times together. I hope you can forgive me for whatever I have done to make you run from me._

_Goodbye, forever._

_Love you forever, your Roza_

_P.s I love you._

Tears ran freely down my face as I read this, what did she mean goodbye forever? What did she mean 'I cant live without you, and that's why I'm not'? I left the room, running back to Rose's dorm. I ran up the stairs. I ran down the corridor. I knocked on her door repeatedly before tearing it down to find an empty room, with the window open. She's gone was all I could think. She's gone. I ran back to Adrian's room to find them all staring at me(again) but this time with sympathy written all over their faces, even Eddie and Adrian's. "Where did she go?" I asked in something slightly more than a whisper.

"We don't know" was Lissa's only reply. But as I looked at all of the groups faces looking for something like guilt, I found it.

"Christian, where is she?" I asked in a voice that I had never heard come from my own mouth before.

He looked down. And handed me his letter. As I read it I occasionally looked at his face, the guilt growing more and more evident each time. When I finished reading it I couldn't contain my anger.

"YOU HAVE HER NUMBER!" I yelled at the top of my voice and as he cowered in fear from me, other voices joined my angered statement.

"WHAT!" yelled Lissa

"WHATS DO YOU MEAN!" yelled Adrian and Eddie simultaneously.

"STOP" I shouted and they stopped yelling after a few mumbled curses.

"Explain!" I demanded. Getting straight to the point he practically whispered "She didn't want you to know"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN!" they all yelled.

"Look for yourself" he said looking slightly defeated. As he handed over the letter for them to read the was a lot of gasps and 'no way's' or 'she wouldn't s'

"let me explain" he begged, I nodded and so did Lissa. He continued. "Well she didn't want you to know because she must have known you would freak about here going missing and you did and she didn't want you to worry about her, the reason she left her number with me is incase of spirit being overwhelming and then she'd be able to take the shadows away from you. And just before you ask I don't know where she is, I don't even think she's in the state anymore." once he had finished we were all quiet, until I broke the silence.

"I have to find her." I said with full determination.

"Dimitri, you cant just-" I cut her off before she could continue.

"What do you mean!" I spun to face her with an angered expression, I had to find her, I cant leave her to be out there by herself, I thought.

"Dimitri, listen to me, I know Rose better than anybody. If she doesn't want to be found, then she wont. Your just going to go on a wild goose chase. She's probably already thought about making false trails."

I hadn't thought of this and just as I was about to say 'I don't care' she stopped me, "Well, not alone, that is."

"No" I said straight away she obviously didn't like the reply.

"What! How can you say that i'm her best friend, imp practically her sister!" she said. Like me she had full determination in her words.

"I cant risk you" I said. She still was not happy.

"I could help you find her. I could try and use the bond. I've been reading about some bond mates on _Google_ and it said that if they work hard enough they can communicate in a two way system like being on a phone." I was stunned, thoughts running through my head at 100mph, she could find her, she could help me, she could get my Roza back.

After about a minute of silence I spoke up. "Ok, you can help, but nobody else" I said before everybody else in the room had a chance to protest. "On one condition. You stay here and work on the bond, whilst I look for her." Lissa seemed to be content with this because she said no more as I walked outside the room and towards my car.

I raced off into the early morning, not knowing where I was headed.

_Rose's POV!_

I was at least near California by now (A/N I have no clue about how far American states are away from each other so just roll with it) and I decided this is where I'm gonna stay for now. After one night of staying in a motel, I decided to buy an apartment. It had white walls, with black accessories and black cupboards in the kitchen (A/N lets just say it was modern and awesome!) .

The bedroom was vary plain just a normal double bed with a black quilt covers on it.

-the next week-

I had decided to try out going to high school. Fun. enter sarcasm here

I knew it would be nothing like the Academy and for that I was grateful. I could start new. No matter how much it hurt me to say it, but I had to move on, I couldn't dwell on the past, it was too painful, so all I could do was look towards the future and have a new life here in California.

Before I had left the academy I had gone to the garage near the gates. I had needed something fast. So obviously I stole the best one in there. The Bugatti Vayron. And that's exactly what I was driving to school in. obviously I didn't want to be noticed too much so I had just worn a pair of dark skinny jeans, a casual top and my favourite black hoodie (with the hood up of course). And of course I turned a few heads with my to die for car, and because I was the new girl.

As soon as I stepped out of my car I was swarmed with stares, and a few glares, 'I wonder why' I thought sarcastically. It was obviously because all the guys in the parking lot were staring at me in awe and wonder. But the first person to actually have the guts to talk to me was a tall muscular guy with a well toned chest (because he was wearing a way to tight top), short brown hair and hazel eyes.

"Hey, what's up?" he said with an arrogant smirk on his face. 'Just another Jesse' I thought. I looked him up and down slowly to make sure he knew I was 'checking him out' and the I replied with my famous man-eater smile "Obviously a lot because I'm new, but that's none of your concern seeing as though you have a blonde bimbo glaring at me right now which I'm guessing is your girlfriend." still keeping the smile on my face I looked past him to wave at the blonde bimbo. 'I think I'll call her blondey' I thought. She kept glaring daggers in me until I turned back to him because he was about to reply. 'Man, he's got balls if he wants to keep this up' I thought.

"I think it is my business, seeing as though you need somebody to show you around. So try not to get jealous" he answered the last part as a whisper in my ear. 'this ought to be fun' I thought as my smile crept back into place 'All aboard the train to humiliation, tall arrogant twats welcome' I thought again.

"You ought to not get too close to me" I said in a seductive voice, obviously it worked. "Because you might end up getting your ass handed to you on your own silver platter." I answered but this time I changed my smile to a smirk, which back at the academy would have gotten boys to drop at my feet.

"Oh really? Well you might want to watch how your talking missy, because that kind of attitude can get you In a lot of trouble. How about we test that theory out?" he asked still whispering in my ear.

"Lunchtime in the gym, meet me there, and invite anybody you want" I whispered back, and after giving him a trade mark Rose Hathaway wink, stepped away, grabbed my books and headed for homeroom where I hoped I wouldn't run into anymore jerks trying to get me to grovel at their feet. And luckily I didn't. but after homeroom I had Maths and Drama. Maths past quickly but in Drama we were placed into groups of four, improvising a scene from Romeo and Juliet, but with a twist. We had to make it modern. And obviously I was Juliet.

"Romeo, Romeo, where the hell have you gone Romeo!" I said with a straight face, Drama had

Always been one of my strength because I can go over the top a lot.

"Down here!" the guy that was playing Romeo shouted, I think his name was Erik.

"Where the hell did you go off to, I've been waiting for ages!" I said sounding extremely annoyed, this only made the class laugh harder than they had before.

"I went to grab a beer. God calm down" he said calmly, he was very good at drama, I could tell but the way he was presenting himself in such a confident way. I guess he was handsome as well, he had black hair, kinda like Craig from Escape the Fate (A/N WOO! ESCAPE THE FATE ARE PENG! that's for you molly! :D )

"Well, don't you think you should put me before a freaking beer!" I snarled, in full character now.

"Listen, it was only one beer, calm down, its not like I don't love you" he said, a little too softly for my liking.

"I don't give a damn! You should at least call me to tell me so I'm not stuck in the rain for 20minutes!" I shouted. He moved closer.

"I should have, and I'm sorry. But do you want to know what a single beer cant give me, that you can?" he said, still sounding too soft.

"Go ahead its not going to change anything!" I said clear annoyance in my characters voice. But just before I could turn to walk away he wrapped his arms around me and smashed his lips against mine, the class wolf whistled at what he had done, I however, was pissed. Uber pissed. I pushed him away with a playful smile on my face, and as I walked back towards him I swung my hips to add effect, he bought it. I was directly in front of him now. I brought my hands up to my face and turned them into fists in front of everybody. I kissed my right fist quickly before I punch him in the nose. Satisfied when I heard a loud crack, I walked out. Nobody seemed to have enough balls to follow me so I went to my locker getting my fighting gloves on ready to go to the gym.

The bell rang through the empty corridors signalling the beginning of lunch. And in seconds the corridors were full of students rushing in the same direction. I looked on my map to see where they would be heading and was amazed, but not surprised, to see they were heading for the gym, and because I was new and still wasn't entirely sure where it was, I followed them into a massive room with mat's on the ground and people in the stands cheering, luckily I could fight in anything but high heels I didn't have to change, unlike mystery prick standing by the stands looking like he owned the place and that he would easily win. Little did he know.

I strutted over to the middle of the mat's waiting for somebody to come and fight me, obviously he had some arrogant friends who wanted to test me out, about 3 boys were standing there looking extremely arrogant. I recognised one of them as mystery prick, but it was Cody from my Maths class that went first.

"Hey, don't look so scared, I'll go easy on you" he said loud enough for everybody to hear. Unlucky for him he must have mistaken my look of boredom for fright or anxiety, I don't know how he did, but he must have. 'Man he's thick' I thought just before the guy on the sidelines shouted start.

We circled each other of about a minute until he got impatient and aimed a kick at my stomach. But I was way ahead of him. I grabbed his foot and twisted so that his back to me, the whole room fell quiet.

"Lesson one" I shouted, "Never lose your patients." I finished as I used my other hand to knock him out. Two guys came and took him to the school nurse, who must have heard about this because she probably didn't want anybody to get seriously injured.

The next guy came and introduced himself as Cain. 'Poor Cain' I thought.

He aimed a punch towards my face but I easily dodged it before saying, loud enough for everybody to hear "If I wasn't fighting you I'd totally go out with you." He looked at me with hope, 'fat chance' I thought before kicking him in the back of the knee's making his legs buckle. He tried to get up but I grabbed both his arms and twisted them behind him before yelling "Lesson two! Don't Hesitate" even though it pained me to say it, I knew he might be a little proud of me, even if he didn't love me.

I swiftly knocked him unconscious before looking up at mystery prick to see that he was bricking it, (shitting himself), but when he noticed I was looking at him he changed his emotions to show arrogance once again. 'Ugh does this guy just not learn'.

He walks onto the mat's and starts the fight. I could tell what he was about to do so I quickly yelled "And finally lesson three" He swung, but I was still too quick, I grabbed his lower and upper arm and twisted it until I was at an advantage (not that I already didn't have an advantage) and continued "Never start a fight with a right hook" I looked over the crowd to see that they were staring at me in wonder, wanting to know what I was gonna do next "Do you guys want to know why?" I shouted.

They cheered so I took that as a yes. I twisted his arm again so that his fingers were curled in, but not into a fist and his arm was pointing towards his face. "Well its because you can very easily perform my favourite, and signature move! Do you wanna know what it is?" they cheered again so I pushed his fingers into his mouth and yelled "THE PACIFIER!" 'its at moment like these when I worship Vin Diesel' I thought silently chuckling to myself at how cheesey this situation was.

And as I looked over the crowd one more time I saw her.

The world around me disappeared and all there was, was a red void full of anger and hatred. I knew what I had to do. I ran towards her and with all my strength I hit her until she was collapsed on the ground. The room fell silent once again. And there were people trying to pull me off her but I was too strong. I kept punching and kicking every part of her body I could. And I didn't stop until she was bloody and bruised. I got carried off to the principals office. Only to find something that left me speechless and paralysed.

**CLIFF HANGER!**

**Who do you think she beat up?**

**Who do you think is in the principals office?**

**And what did you think about mystery prick getting his ass handed to him on a silver platter?**

**Love me?**

**Hate me?**

**Review me?**

**Praise me?**

**Criticize me?**

**Do whatever the hell you want …..oh and I forgot to tell you about a little rhyme I heard at school …..you ready?**

**I love you**

**You love me **

**Barney gave me HIV**

**It started with a kiss**

**And ended on the floor**

**I got raped by a dinosaur….. XD**

**And to molly …. THIS WAR IS OURS! 3**

**As always …ENJOY!**

**-Jess**


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